Quotations

“Four years before Covid-19, I saw a dude get punched square in the nose over a roll of toilet paper. That's when I began to notice how self-centered people can be.”

“If you want to be different, stand up for the police inside the penitentiary.”

“If you could travel back in time, you would lose all the people who care about the person you became.”

“Learning does not feel good, because it is difficult. Triumph over victory in retrospect IS what fun is. If you want food to be fun, make it difficult.”

“Police Reform will stem from Police Advocacy.”

“I've got a fever. And the only cure is more Advocacy.”

“Vision, hearing, taste, touch, and smell are ALL common senses! Let's START the argument there!”

“Prejudice against the police is just as unintelligent as racism because you can't let the actions of a smaller percentile dictate your views regarding an entire people.”

“Crime is an effect, not the cause.”

“Racism is the root of ignorance.”

“I sincerely doubt there are any gang members in outer space or working at C.E.R.N., but there are likely gang members who will argue about that.”

“I think skydiving from the stratosphere with a NASA suit on is cool. The same people who call me lame are the same ones who sell crack cocaine to pregnant women with no remorse.”

“If you want to advance a species, support the highest form of government. To orchestrate chaos is devolution, and tribal systems are still literally primitive.”

“If you are going to be gungho about something, why don't you be gungho about the men in uniform who risk their lives every day protecting people who frequently spit in their faces.”

“If you truly cared about white people, you would never use the 'N-word'. That inspires racial tension towards the elderly people of your race.”

“After some research, the plausibility of drugs being made from feces and urine is a great reminder to stay clean.”

“Men in prison think 'etiquette' has to do with the exhibitionism and the proper way to expose oneself.”

“If you sell drugs, you also support child porn. The drugs require smuggling, and the smugglers don't care what the product is.”

“Nowhere did Jesus say, 'you don't need to know the law'.”

“Tripping was never a good thing. It's how careless people get hurt.”

“Until they become involuntary, volunteer your thoughts towards better ideas.”

“Never let 'Blooper shows' alter your natural reactions to painful events - parachuting into the side of a trailer is NOT funny.”

“Everyone should visit the psych ward as a patient at least once, for being a liar.”

“It's always good to repeat yourself, just not the same dumbsh**.”

“You've got to receive, unless you are a parasite.”

“Always bail out when you're on a roll.”

“I may NOT be guilty of the crime I was convicted of, but I deserve every year I have spent here thus far.”

“I can see how the injustice of the justice system is injustice to the justice due.”

“We should all thank God that there are people who religiously practice forgiveness, especially now with the advances being made in technology, breakthroughs being made in physics, and lines being pushed with metaphysics.”

“People must remember that prison is also a sanctuary away from those who seek revenge. Away from bloodthirsty, unforgiving hypocrites.”

“You don't spit crack. Those are called 'tonsil stones' and either way they should go in the garbage.”

“If you are looking for a mind-altering experience, try public speaking. Drugs still rank number one as the biggest waste of time in my life.”

“When your team sucks, you don't burn down the stadium. You tell the coach that team members need to be removed, or trained differently.”

“If you have ever lived in the South without air conditioning, you'd understand why mildew needed a high priest to remove it (in the Old Testament).”

“If you can't explain to me in detail what's happening inside of a baking soda/vinegar volcano, then DO NOT try to school me on how you are a meth cook.”

“We MUST become involved in Police Reform and Police Advocacy.”

“As a kid, I was inspired by how Jackie Chan did all of his stunts. Now I advocate for the Police in the penitentiary.”

“My THEORIES ABOUT The Holy Spirit PULL ME AWAY from The Holy Spirit. And it is a good thing to realise this.”

“How will you stand tall spineless? SaltwaTafree is brineless.”

“The sad part about studying comedy is finding out how many things AREN'T funny. This can be an extremely embarrassing process that frustrates, angers, and numbs. But there IS hope, and the resulting laughs are worth it.”

“Police Reform is no laughing matter, neither is death, nor life imprisonment, or overly aggressive alligators.”

“One of those world damaging ideas is: your TRUE self comes out when you are drunk or high. When the truth is, NO, you ARE NOT your true self when you are drunk or high.”

“Unless you want to explain to me how a platypus is a mammal or how the TseTse fly gives live birth and secretes milk, don't try to talk to me about Darwinism vs. Creation.”

“When people fail to let go of humiliating internet videos, I envision a Christ perpetually crucified. 'He is risen' is pure genius.”

“I use to get offended when Christians would imply I was an infant that must return to 'milk'. Then much later, I envisioned armies of enzymatic machines deployed from swarms of self-replicating microbes terrorizing the minds of the masses. Everything will be alright little babies-- it's only cheese.”

“Relearning to forgive, to respect, and to love people is so incredibly important BEFORE participating in complicated subject matter that affects the lives of other people.”

“Imagine what a prisoner would feel like to have his entire criminal record forgiven. Ideas similar to this one are worth WORSHIP.”

“Comparing the power of belief to a 'collapsing wave function' removes The Holy Spirit from the equation. A comprehensive method describing how to perform a miracle would be TOO MUCH information for one human brain to process. Reliance upon an omniscient God is how common people can become part of amazing things.”

“Apparently, if you carefully set a Cheerio afloat in a bowl of water, a small magnet can move it around. C'MON MAN! Everybody knows Cheerios aren't magnetic! Right?”

“When A.I. generates 'The Gospel According to Dracula' at near light speed, humanity will have reached a turning point. Nearly anything will be scientifically feasible, and it will be up to us to decide which information to devote our short time on earth studying. Choose good.”

“Ummademthang.. youdohnee...”

“Snakes are probably connoisseurs of their own burps, because if they'd fart they would sh-- their pants.”

“It is not a simple matter of illogical vs. logical. Many harmful conclusions have been reached through man's incredible ability to DEDUCE.”

“Master Lord, Most Omnipotent, Most Holy and Most Omniscient Father Creator of the Universe, bless the people of Texas that they find it in their hearts to support inmates who support police. AND, expose those who visit brianspinks.com to the supernatural miraculous powers of The Holy Spirit!”

“There IS healing, so long as you don't feel like something is missing after cleaning out the wound.”

“Crazy pills ARE an option for those who DO NOT wish to become police advocates, and hopefully Pepto will come out with something for logorrhea.”

“Sound is only a fraction of the vibrations generated by a falling tree in the forest. Making your perspective, if present, a highly edited version of what really happened.”

“There ARE people who scratched themselves with butter knives, then picked at the scabs to gain the worried attention of their girlfriends in 7th grade. That doesn't mean the scars aren't real.”

“As a recovering substance misuser, I understand the insatiable addiction to drama. It is not irony that we unsuccessfully seek balance and centeredness.”

“The Bible says we should seek moderation in ALL things. And that includes 'The Vampire Diaries'.”

“The quickest way to become opinionated about ANYTHING, is to watch the News. The quickest way to become enlightened, is to visit brianspinks.com.”

“Setting a Million dollar bail for people who have applied for an 'Indigent Lawyer' is evidence of a whimsical judicial system.”

“Why must females mature faster than males? Because poisonings are more damaging to a females uterus and ovaries than to testes, which is why men wear them on the outside.”

“When the Human Race is no longer about selecting a mate, producing kids, finding food, water and shelter, then there are futile attempts to PURCHASE a renewed sense of interest in ones own hobbies. Then, wealthy people develop suicidal depression and the power of sadism(s) permeate the government.”